Guidance

So what was that about? It wasn't a comedy because it wasn't funny. It wasn't a drama because the script was too lame. It wasn't a tragedy because the ending was a copout. I know! It was about 81 minutes...and that is 81 minutes of my life I'll never get back!

This "quirky" comedy was submitted to the 2015 Seattle International Film Festival by Canada. I would fear for any poor teenager who is subjected to this jerk's "guidance." But then again, I'm just an old poop! I am not amused by an adult in a position of authority who offers drugs and alcohol to teenagers.

Written and directed by Pat Mills ("Secondary High") we see what happens when a prospective employer doesn't check a résumé. A former child star, lost to bad decisions and overuse of controlled substances, is probably not a very good prospect.

The cast:

• Pat Mills ("You Can't Do That on Television") is David Gold, the impossibly loose cannon who lies, cheats and steals. He copies a résumé off the Internet and gets a job as a high school guidance counselor.
• Zahra Bentham ("Degrassi: The Next Generation") Lisa is one of the students who receives "guidance" from our hero. She clearly is more savvy than he, and hers is the only story worth following.
• Kevin Hanchard ("Orphan Black") Principal Newman has no one to blame but himself.

David's litany of affirmations turned out to be amusing because we hear them against a backdrop of completely contradictory behavior on his part. In addition, I smiled at the crime spree: robbing tanning parlors in a bright yellow Prius, with a runaway teenage girl. That's hard core!

This "hero" is pathetic: he is chronically drunk, routinely high and terminally stupid. I do NOT recommend this movie.