Your Highness

Okaaaay... Let's pretend Mel Brooks decided to do a raunchy R-Rated comedy with an unlimited budget and some very capable Computer Generated Imaging experts. His dialog would be, as usual, anachronistic, with slang from today's streets used in this medieval tale; and this is the cast he would assemble:

• James Franco ("127 Hours") is pitch perfect as Fabious, an ingenuous open-hearted lug, the epitomé of the dauntless son any proud king would have inherit his throne: handsome, strong and brave.
• Zooey Deschanel ("Yes Man") swoons her way back into captivity as Belladonna, the virginal prisoner of a lascivious evil wizard.
• Danny McBride ("Tropic Thunder") sets new lows as Thadeous, the cowardly low-life slacker prince who resents his high-achieving brother.
• Natalie Portman ("Black Swan") proves she earned that Oscar! Her warrior Isabel says the most outrageous things with absolute conviction...and a straight face!
• Toby Stevens ("Infamous") is one of the wizard's henchmen.
• Damien Lewis ("The Baker") is Boremont, an iron-fisted member of Prince Fabious's cohort.
• Charles Dance ("Going Postal") is Talious, the king who never hesitates to show favoritism for his high-achieving, fabulous son.
• Rasmus Hardiker ("ShakespeaRe-Told") is Courtney, the much put-upon but resilient and faithful lackey of the slacker prince.

We're talking raunchy, lewd, bawdy, risqué, profane, foul-mouthed, vulgar, in atrocious taste and downright deplorable. Of course, I know some of you will find these to be great reasons to rush right down to your neighborhood multiplex and get in line...or not...

The screening audience loved the nudity; all the action; the sword-, fist-, and spear-fights. They even liked the references to drug use and giggled about the sheep. Yup, another movie designed for a specific target audience that hits the bull's eye!

Did I laugh? I plead the Fifth.