Red Riding Hood

Wellll....our eponymous heroine has a red hood....and the bad wolf is a really BIG bad wolf. Other than that, this witless waste of disposable income has very little resemblance to the much-loved fairy tale of our childhood.
  • Amanda Seyfried ("Dear John" - her undeserved movie career started with "Mean Girls") goes through the woods to Grandma's house, but those aren't cookies in her basket!
  • Lukas Haas ("Inception" - remember when he was the little Amish boy in "Witness?") tries to convince the townspeople to hold off their hunt for the werewolf until the huntsman arrives.
  • Gary Oldman (he's usually remembered for being evil, e.g., "The Book of Eli") is the huntsman, the very embodiment of power which abuses the helpless (for their own good!).
  • Billy Burke ("Twilight" franchise, but he dates back to Seattle's Annex Theatre) is our heroine's conflicted father.
  • Shiloh Fernandez ("Happiness Runs" - he resembles Robert Pattinson from "Twilight") is the "bad boy" who obviously appeals to our heroine.
  • Max Irons ("Dorian Gray" yes, he's Jeremy's son...) is the sweet but boring "good guy" who is engaged to her.
  • Virginia Madsen ("Sideways" but she first garnered fame in "Dune") is our heroine's mother with a long-kept secret.
  • Julie Christie ("Away From Her" - has it been 46 years since "Dr. Zhivago?") is the grandmother with big eyes, big ears, and...oh, you know....
Did you notice back there I said "werewolf?" Does that give you a hint?

Yup. Hollywood had to ramp up the scary stuff: A medieval village complete with torches, silver blades, holy ground, witches, torture, howling, and lots of close-ups of eyes! Aarghhh! I know directors think Seyfried has expressive eyes so we are subjected to them over and over! This is rated PG-13, so no profanity, no sweaty bodies, no car chases, no blowie uppie stuff, just close-ups of eyes.

In MY youth, fairy tales ended "and they all lived happily ever after." ...sigh...