4/26/18

Avengers: Infinity War

Every superhero has a weak spot; Achilles had his heel; Samson, his hair. Now Thor needs his hammer back. My biggest challenge in this top-heavy fantasy/adventure was keeping track of all the characters. Between overwhelming Computer Generated Imaging (CGI) and an explosive script, my usually busy notepad (yes, I write in the dark) was sorely neglected.

Directors Joe and Anthony Russo (two "Captain America" films, so far), working from a PG-13 script penned by a committee, have once again assembled a slam-bang actioner which features countless superheroes as they try to save the Universe. Evil Thanos only lacks two (out of six) stones that will give him unlimited powers. His plan to save the Universe will be to kill off half of its populations, thus eliminating food shortages and overcrowding.

Here is a small part of the Russo brothers' gigantic cast:
  • Chris Evans ("Gifted") Steve Rogers/Captain America is my favorite because he's so decent! (But a BEARD?)
  • Chadwick Boseman ("42") T'Challa/Black Panther is ready to pitch in to do his part. (But spears against phasers?)
  • Robert Downey Jr. ("Sherlock Holmes") Tony Stark/Iron Man is still trying to stifle Peter Parker's eagerness. (But Pepper Potts wants him to retire.)
  • Josh Brolin ("Only the Brave") Thanos doesn't want to save the World, but he will save the Universe as soon as he obtains those last two stones. Doctor Strange has one, and Vision has the other.
  • Idris Elba ("Luther") Helmdall still believes that somehow Asgard will survive.
  • Scarlett Johansson ("Rough Night") Natasha Romanoff/Black Widow works best with Captain America.
  • Mark Ruffalo ("Now You See Me") Bruce Banner/Hulk desperately tries to launch his alter ego, but the Hulk won't come out.
  • Anthony Mackie ("All the Way") Falcon is always there when they need him.
  • Chris Pratt ("Guardians of the Galaxy") Peter Quill/Star-Lord and his motley crew blunder around and try to help. We welcome them because we know there will be humor.
  • Zoe Saldana ("Star Trek: Beyond") Gamora has memories of Thanos when he befriended her as a child.
  • Tom Holland ("Captain America") Peter Parker/Spider-Man is trying to be a friendly neighborhood superhero, to Tony Stark's irritation.
  • Benedict Cumberbatch ("The Current War") Dr. Steven Strange meets his match. He can only do so much.
  • Paul Bettany ("Manhunt: Unabomber") Vision is willing to make a huge sacrifice to keep that stone away from Thanos.
  • Tom Hiddleston ("The Night Manager") Loki never quits; he is always full of tricks.
  • Chris Hemsworth ("12 Strong") Thor has his reputation to uphold, but without his hammer things look grim.
  • Peter Dinklage ("Game of Thrones") This giant (!) blacksmith needs help re-igniting his forge.
This PG-13 actioner starts with a bang and never lets up. Our whole cadre of superheroes must stop Thanos before his devastation is irreversible. I have left out a number of superheroes but time and space, you know...

Fisticuffs, CGI, mayhem, CGI, fire fights, CGI, blowie uppie stuff, CGI, amazing landscapes, CGI, torture, CGI, aerial battles, CGI, unusual aliens and CGI. Have I forgotten anything? As you can easily see by my partial list of actors, this movie is top heavy with superheroes and feather light on plot. They had serious problems with continuity and size issues: at times Thanos was huge, other times he was just big. This is a 90-minute film spread out over 2 hours and 29 minutes. It is eye candy for fans of CGI and over-the-top violence, but I stifled more than one yawn.

We were not a noisy or enthused audience as we quietly exited the screening today.
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See what I mean:
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